


This Is(n't Exactly) How A Dream Comes True

by Quicquidlibet



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Theatre, Are you there God?, It's me Oikawa, M/M, Shrek the Musical, You're Welcome, musical theatre, my first fic on ao3 and its this, this is so weird but I'm unashamed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 19:59:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9920027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quicquidlibet/pseuds/Quicquidlibet
Summary: "Are you there, God? It's me, Oikawa."...Aoba Johsai and Shiratorizawa have partnered together for their schools' theatre productions every year. And finally, in his third year, Oikawa Toruu got a leading role.Sort of....Shrek: The Musical high school theatre AU.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Good songs to listen to to understand this fic better:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubBN38hL9KY - I Know It's Today from Shrek: The Musical  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WffmEI_ndWI - This Is How A Dream Comes True from Shrek: The Musical  
> Or you know, just watch the musical. It's pretty great.  
> Thanks to Anna for being the best beta.  
> I claim no copyrights to either Haikyuu or Shrek: The Musical.

Despite the short tambourine reprise of “I Know It’s Today” being a song Oikawa got to sing during the musical and one he actually had fun singing, in this moment it pissed him off at the timing. He didn’t want It to be today - and by It, he meant the day he realized that, of fucking course, Iwaizumi was right once again. And Iwa-chan, the terrible friend he was, thought it was hilarious.

Even worse, he had to work on this musical, which should have made him happy. Except it was also a problem. It wouldn’t be a problem if Aoba Johsai and Shiratorizawa didn’t share a theatre department. No, then he would be the lead and wouldn’t have to deal with Ushijima Wakatoshi on a daily basis.

On top of Oikawa’s already bad mood, Iwaizumi had apparently decided that today’s rehearsal was the best time to slack off and laugh at his friend’s shitty day. Oikawa glared at Iwaizumi, trying desperately to punish him telepathically. Despite his best attempts, however, his best friend did not, in fact, drop dead. There was a cough amidst the dead silence and then someone started to whisper his line to him, thinking he had forgotten.

“Wow,” he announced loudly, deliberately ignoring the classmate whispering his line. If Iwa-chan wasn’t going to take the role seriously today, he thought, neither would he. Oikawa turned and attempted to give the lead a cold stare. He failed and looked away quickly. “You’re so pathetic even my dragon went easy on you.”

Ushijima didn’t acknowledge the line change beyond a slight adjustment to his own line and continued as if it were a normal rehearsal. “Good, you’re awake. You’re Princess Fiona? Come on then, Princess. We’re leaving.”

“No,” Oikawa said, taking a step back and shooting Ushijima a smirk. “You have to prove yourself better than that.”

Ushijima paused. Oikawa was still off script, but Ushijima was not one to break character easily. Letting out a huff of frustration, he continued to try to keep the rehearsal on track. “No. I don’t. We have to go.”

Oikawa let out a long groan and grabbed Ushijima by the shoulder like the stage blocking called for. “Fine but I’m going to sing about how you did this wrong. Your name?”  
At this point, Ushijima gave up on lines. As long as Oikawa was still somewhat in character, it was fine. Scowling, he said, “Shrek. And no more singing.”

“Too late,” Oikawa said with a grin. The pianist for the rehearsal started the music, clearly hoping for Oikawa to go back on script. He did not, changing the lyrics but fitting the tune. He ignored the first few lines he was supposed to sing before starting.

“This is how a dream comes true - I meet a knight who ISN’T you. Shrek the knight comes to rescue me? This is not what’s meant to be.”

In the background, Oikawa heard the director groan and his classmates giggle lightly. That only egged him on.

“I don’t care. Hop on,” Ushijima said, turning around for a piggy back ride like the script calls for.

Oikawa turned him back around and continued. “This is how the scene must go: You standing... there? Has got to go. Then you leave - don’t wave at me. I don’t want you, man, so leave me be.”

Ushijima stared at Oikawa with an annoyed look on his face.

“Leave me be.”

A pause.

“LEAVE ME BE.”

Sighing, Ushijima sat down on the bed on set and waited out the song, knowing Oikawa was not going to go back on script any time soon.

“And though we’ve only met, somehow I always knew, I really dislike this, just meeting you.”

Chuckling, Iwaizumi finally decided to get back into his role and roared while Tendou, playing Donkey, made sounds of terror off stage.

“You’re leaving?” Oikawa asked cheerfully as Ushijima got up.

Ushijima grabbed him by the shoulder and guided him along. “I have to save my ass. Come on.”

Oikawa stumbled as he was pulled along. “Easy, I’m in heels,” he said, finally saying one of his actual lines. The director sighed in relief, but it was too soon as Oikawa continued singing.

“Mister Fake Knight, slow-down a bit. I know your ass is delicate, but I can’t run like this for long. Besides, you’re doing it it all wrong. ‘Down a rope, a steed awaits.’ That’s what every story states, riding over rough terrain. But ass meets dragon, ass is slain.”

There was a pause as everyone stared in shock at Oikawa’s choice of words. “You didn’t slay the dragon. I saw it from the window,” Oikawa said, as if in explanation.

“It’s on my to-do list,” Ushijima said, pulling Oikawa along again. “Donkey!” he called out to Tendou.

“You got the Princess!” Tendou exclaimed, running onstage wearing a fur coat and a hat with donkey ears glued on.

“He talks?” Oikawa asked, voice dripping with disdain.

“The real trick is getting him to shut up,” Ushijima said.

“Not surprised,” Oikawa said.

When they finally reached their next spot on the stage, with Iwaizumi dressed in his costume of red robes and a paper mache dragon’s head perched atop his head standing behind them, Oikawa let out a long groan and clasped his hands together as if in prayer.

“Are you there, God?” he sang. “It’s me, Oikawa.”

At that, all the other students burst out laughing and the director called for them to stop in frustration.

Oikawa moved to get off stage, but Ushijima stopped him.

“Are you alright? You’re usually very dedicated to staying in character,” Ushijima asked, resting a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder. “Did something happen?”

Oikawa flushed and glared at Ushijima’s calm face. “Shut up. Leave me alone,” he snapped, brushing him off and walking off to a chuckling Iwaizumi. Confused, Ushijima turned to Tendou, who dragged him off stage to take off the ridiculous green ogre helmet he was wearing.

Iwaizumi tossed his dragon head to Oikawa as he greeted him. “What’s wrong, Princess-kawa? Mad that your knight in shining armor isn’t what you expected?”

“Shut. Up,” Oikawa hissed, digging his hand into Iwaizumi’s shoulder for balance as he took off his heels.

“Hey, Ushiwaka!” Iwaizumi called out, ignoring Oikawa’s squawks of protest. “Shitty-kawa wants to talk to you about the next run and apologize. Tendou-san. Can I talk to you about some of our lines?

And with that, Oikawa’s best friend abandoned him, leaving him to deal with an ogre all by himself. He would need a new best friend, he decided as he watched Ushijima walk over with dread.

“What did you want to talk about?” Ushijima asked as he reached Oikawa, half out of his costume.

Scowling, Oikawa glared at the wall. “Nothing.”

Ushijima narrowed his eyes, scowling. “That’s obviously a lie.”

“Your acting is terrible. Fix it,” Oikawa replied, still avoiding the other boy’s eyes.

“My acting wasn’t the problem today. What’s really going on?”

At that, Oikawa flushed and crossed his arms with a scowl. Ushijima watched him fidget for a moment before letting out a small laugh.

“Oikawa-san, would you like to rehearse with me outside of school some time?” he asked, acting on a hunch. “We could run lines at a coffee shop, if you’d like.”

Oikawa blushed and his jaw moved awkwardly for a moment as he tried to find words. “Fuck you, you’re paying. And I’m going to eat a lot of pastries.”

Tendou let out a loud whistle, causing Oikawa to jump and Ushijima to give the red-haired boy an unimpressed look. “Looks like our leads are gonna Smash Mouths tonight!” Tendou shouted.

“Somebody once told me,” Hanamaki started to sing immediately after Tendou’s comment, only to cut himself off as he burst into laughter with the rest of the students.

“Hey, now,” Iwaizumi said to Oikawa with a shit-eating grin. “You’re an all star, get your game on. Get laid.”

**Author's Note:**

> My friend Anna, the aforementioned beta, may or may not write a prequel to this. I hope she does. It'll be great.


End file.
